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A short sequel to 'Big Trouble in Little China
A short sequel to 'Big Trouble in Little China
The Pork Chop Express, my attempt to write a short sequel to one of my favourite films , Big Touble in Little China.
“THE PORK CHOP EXPRESS”
by
A D Small
EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY NIGHT
Rain is beating down and this old dirty, beaten up Peterbilt Truck. It is making some miles down the roads of America.
Thunder and lightening fill the sky.
We see the truck indicate after a sign that reads, Nothing or Double. The truck pulls into a parking lot, the engine is switched off. We see the door open and a figure climbs out and checks the back of his truck, he finds some transparent goo but thinks nothing of it. As he closes the door to his truck. we see the logo of a pig with words 'THE PORK CHOP EXPRESS' inside a speech balloon. Which then comes to the front of the screen. The name Jack Burton Trading is across the side of the door.
Jack with his side saddle bag placed on his shoulder walks over to the bar. He hears a growl of some kind but thinks it
coming from the bar with a neon sign that flashes 'NOTHING OR DOUBLE'. He notices a dog sniffing the corner of the building.
EXT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE BAR.
He walks up the steps, there is poster a board, but he can clearly see that they're a plenty of posters underneath. It
says tonight 'DRAGON GREEN EYES, TONIGHT AT 8 PM'.
JACK
"Is this a joke."
He pulled the door open and walked inside.
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
Jack shakes himself to let the water fall to the floor. The bouncer turns and checks Jack over, then lets him past.
Jack checks the large 'It's Miller Time' clock on the wall, 30 mins before the gig is about to start. He walks over to
the bar. Behind the bar in the middle of the spirits shelf
is a shot gun and a box of shells.
BARMAN (FRANK)
"Hey Jack, how ya been?"
JACK
"You wouldn't believe me if I told
you, Frank."
FRANK
"Well you will have to try me, I
have heard some stories in my
time."
JACK
"Maybe next time. Can I have two
beers? Frank."
Jack turns to scan the bar, then Frank picks up one of the beers. Jack starts gulping the beer then spots an empty seat
in the corner. He moves through the crowd and passed the
stage to his seat. He gulps more beer down.
EXT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE BAR - REAR.
A battered van pulls up in the parking lot, behind the 'Nothing or Double'. The van has a woman's face painted on the side, with green eyes. Out steps, 4 guys all dressed. One of them is on the phone. The other 3 start taking their
equipment into the bar. As the last band member goes into he bar he hears a rustle from the tree line, so he turns but
can't see anything. He leaves a rock against the door to keep it open and then steps inside. A dog is scratching at
the bin.
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
Jack is gulping the last of his beer and reaching inside the saddle bags to check the money, he won of Wang Chi. A door near the back of the stage opens up and the band comes in carrying their equipment. One of the band then goes to the
bar and speak to the barman. Then he is passed a phone. The band member becomes animated then hangs up and heads back to the band.
BAND N#1
"Luke says he is leaving the motel
now..so he'll be here 20. So let's
get set up and do a sound check. "
Jack watched them set up their equipment, they even had a curtain that held an image of the dragon behind a semi
naked women, it had the name of their band on the curtain too. The band then left to go back for more equipment. A
barmaid walks up to his table. He looks up and sees her name badge, Molly.
MOLLY
"Hey Mr, can I get you anything?"
JACK
"Hey there, Molly. I will take two
more Miller's, could you set up a
tab for me."
MOLLY
"Yeah sure, Mr. I will be back
shortly."
JACK
"Oh hey, Molly. Call me Jack."
MOLLY
"OK, Jack. I will be back shortly."
He places the empty drink on her tray before she walks away.
EXT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
Outside a car pulls up along side, Jack's rig, they shine a torch on it before switching the engine off. The doors opened and out stepped two guys, one built like an outhouse, the other an average build, he wore a Stetson. They walk
over to the rig and inspect it before heading towards the bar. The one with the Stetson grabbed the arm of the big man.
STETSON (NICK)
"Now, Mike, try not to put this on
in hospital. Bring this catch in
and it is a great pay day for us."
MIKE
"OK Nick, I will just scare him a
little."
NICK
"Make sure you do, we mess this one
up we are out on our arses."
Nick and Mike un-holster their guns, check them then they re holster their guns. Then they watch as cars and a coach, pull into the parking lot.
NICK
"Now we have witnesses, so be
extremely careful."
They all make their way towards the doors of the bar.
EXT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE BAR - REAR.
The band walks back out to the van, grabbing the last bits of their equipment. We see a car pull beside the van. Out
steps Luke. He grabs a guitar case from his back seat and then shuts the door. A growl comes from near the bins, Luke
investigates it. The growl gets louder but he can't help taking a closer look. As he checks the bins, he finds the
dog dead with a big gaping wound in its neck. Luke starts to feel uneasy at what he saw and he can hear the growl again. He heads for the door but as he enters a blob of transparent goo lands in front of him, he looks down to check it out but as he stands, he is pulled up including his guitar case, then the case falls and hits the floor behind the door, attached to it is Luke's severed hand.
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
The band has finished setting up and head back stage to get ready. One member ( who used the phone earlier) heads back out of the bar.
Jack gulps down the last of his beer and signals to Molly. Who acknowledges back and heads to the bar grabs some drinks before heading over to Jack.
MOLLY
"Hey Jack, two more drinks for
you."
JACK
"Thanks, Molly, is this band any
good?"
MOLLY
"They are good, Jack. Always have a
good crowd."
JACK
"Well as Ol' Jack always says."
MOLLY
"Who is Ol' Jack?"
JACK
"Me. I say what the hell. I may
like them."
MOLLY
"You're funny."
JACK
"Let's talk about that."
MOLLY
"I finish at 12."
Jack winks at Molly before she turns and heads to another customer. One of the band walks out the back of the bar.
EXT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE BAR - REAR.
The band member walks out the door and sees Luke's car. He opens the van and grabs a bag.
BAND N#1
"Luke!!Luke!!"
The band member hears a growl looks back inside and then outside. He goes back inside but kicks the rock loose and
closes the door.
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
Jack watches the band discussing something and being animated. Then one leaves and heads towards the corridor
again. Then Jack turns and looks at the main door as they open and a large crowd entered. Everyone grabs a seat ready
for the gig, Molly starts to moves between each table taking orders. Two men walk over to the bar, have a discussion with Frank who points in Jack's direction. Jack takes a gulp of his beer and then decides to go to the toilet. As he walks through the room, he is stopped by the two men. Nick stands in front of him.
NICK
"Mr. Burton?"
JACK
"Who wants to know?"
NICK
"We are here to bring you in
regarding the incident in San
Francisco."
JACK
"Bring me in where and who wants
me?"
NICK
"We don't want to make a scene, Mr
Burton."
JACK
"I am reasonable guy, but I am
finding it hard to understand why I
need to go back to San Francisco."
NICK
"We could do this the easy way or
the hard way, Mr. Burton. it is your
choice."
Jack makes a move to walk around them but Mike steps from behind Nick and blocks him off.
JACK
"You still haven't told me who you
are and who you're working for?"
NICK
"Well Mr. Burton, I am Nick Cain and
this is Mike Sutter. We have been
asked to track you down by clients
of Loomis Insurance."
JACK
"So you have been stalking me."
NICK
"Just doing my job, Mr. Burton."
JACK
"Your job will stop me doing mine,
and time is money to a guy like
me."
NICK
"I suggest you grab your belongings
and let's go."
JACK
"Well let me go to the little boys
room first."
Nick gives Mike a nod. Mike then grabs Jack by the throat and drives him to the wall and pins him there. The Bouncer
heads over but Nick flashes his gun at him, which stops him.
MIKE
"Don't test me, Mr. Burton. Everyone
has to pay their dues."
JACK
"Well all I say, Mike, is the check
is in the mail."
NICK
"Well Mike here will escort you to
the bathroom so that you don't try
to flee."
JACK
"I would say that is reasonable."
Mike lets Jack go and follows him to the bathroom. Nick walks to the bar.
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BATHROOM.
Jack is walking through a door and Mike follows him.
JACK
"Come on Mike, you don't need to
follow me this far."
MIKE
"Sorry, Mr. Burton. I am not letting
you out of my sight."
JACK
"Well sorry but you're not
following into the cubicle."
MIKE
"I will stand outside the door."
JACK
"It won't be pleasant."
MIKE
"It's OK I won't lose my head."
Jack locks the door and sits down.
JACK
"You been working with Nick long?"
MIKE
"What does it matter to you? Just
hurry up."
JACK
"Well, this is awkward."
MIKE
"Just hurry up, Jack."
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
Nick stands at the bar drinking throwing two shots of bourbon down his throat. He turned when he heard the heated
discussion between the band.
BAND N#1
"So who is going to stand in for
Luke? Me again I guess, getting
sick of his arrogance."
BAND N#2
"Well, lets get do the best we can.
Do you think you can hit the key
on, Up or Down?"
BAND N#3
"Maybe we should change the set?"
BAND N#1
"One of our well-known songs, we
can't not do it, can we. Let's give
it our best. We can deal with Luke
late."
Nick turned back to the bar and signalled Frank to hit him with two more shots. Molly appears at the bar and places
glasses down. and picks up more drinks.
MOLLY
"Keep them coming Frank. Going to
be a busy night."
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BATHROOM.
Mike is getting annoyed at Jack.
MIKE
"Come on, hurry up, Jack."
JACK
"I won't like Mike, you putting me
on edge here."
MIKE
"You got 10 minutes or you will
have to hold it in."
JACK
"You can't do that."
Mike hears a growl and looks to the door.
JACK
"Was that you Mike? Please tell me
that is your stomach."
MIKE
"It wasn't me. Is it you?"
JACK
"No, but it isn't helping though."
MIKE
"Just get on with it."
The growl happens again, Mike moves towards the door. As he leans into the door, the growl happens again. As the door opens Mike takes a closer look. As he stares into the darkness of the corridor. From the darkness an orange, brown
furry arm reaches in and grabs Mike by the throat, he lets out a scream.
JACK
"What the hells going on Mike?
Mike!!!"
Jack hears a crunch and something bounce across the floor. He is shocked when the head of Mike roles under the cubicle door. Jack is shocked at this. Then he sees a large shadow appear from under the door and the growl again. The door then flies across the bathroom but smashes the light so it goes dark. Jack lights hi lighter, the dim flame only lets
him see inches, but he can hear the beast. As he steps out of the cubicle.
JACK
"Guess you're after revenge, for
your former master."
The beast growls loudly. Jack edges closer to the door.
JACK
"So you can understand me? Well old
Jack says you are free from your
master so why don't you just go and
live in the forest?"
The beast growls again.
JACK
"So that's your final answer."
The beast moves in the shadows as Jack steps back into the corridor, Jack stumbles but then sees the headless body
of Mike. Jack runs down the corridor but then hears the
monster follow him.
INT. NOTHING OR DOUBLE - BAR.
The band stops mid song. Growls and crashes echo around the bar. Everybody jumps up in horror. Then the door explodes and Jack comes flying through it and hits the bar. He picks himself us.
JACK
"Is that the best you have got, my
last wife hit harder than you."
A growl came from the darkness and rattled wall behind the bar.
JACK
"Guess I hurt his feelings."
FRANK
"Is it a bear or a crazed ape?
Jack."
JACK
"Honestly Frank, it's hard to say.
Any other exits out of here?"
FRANK
"Yeah behind the bar."
JACK
"Get your bouncer to escort
everyone including you, out through
that door. It wants me."
Nick steps towards Jack As the rest of the room step; back towards the bar.
NICK
"Where's Mike?"
JACK
"Alright buster, no simple way to
put this."
NICK
"What happened? Where is he? Tell
me."
Jack points to the darkness.
JACK
"You ask him, but you won't get
your friend back."
NICK
"He is dead?"
JACK
"We need to pull together if we are
going to survive this. We don't
anyone else to lose their head."
Nick looked towards the darkness and pulled his gun from his holster, he then ran into the darkness his words fading away no sooner they left his mouth.
NICK
"I want a piece of this guy. The
son of."
JACK
"Now everyone, stay remain calm,
make your way towards the bar and
the exit."
Then we hear a scream and a crack.
FRANK
"You seen this type of thing
before? Jack."
JACK
"I have, thought it had died. Guess
I was wrong. But get out of here
Frank."
FRANK
"Nothing or Double is my home too,
so I won't be going anywhere."
JACK
"This thing, it ain't playing and I
can't let it go back outside."
FRANK
"Well, I ain't playing either."
Frank reaches for the double barrelled shotgun and shells on the shelf behind the bar. He begins to load it. Frank then
places three shot glasses down on the bar and starts pouring a mixture of spirits in them.
MOLLY
"Well we need to think of
something."
JACK
"Get out of here, Molly."
MOLLY
"Can't let Ol' Jack have all the
fun, can I."
FRANK
"One shot for final fight Jack,
Molly."
They knock the shot back, then they stand in front of the bar looking into the darkness, when they hear a growl again.
JACK
"Wish Egg and his six demon bag
were here."
MOLLY
"Who is Egg?"
Jack takes the shotgun off Frank.
JACK
"Egg.."
Jack cocks the shotgun.
JACK
 ".. he is a great guy but I guess
I can't do things his way so it's
the old fashioned way for us."
Jack points the shotgun into the darkness. Frank grabs a bottle of spirits from the bar.
FRANK
"Shoot this on three."
JACK
"It will take cracker-jack timing, on
three."
FRANK
"One..Two..Three."
We hear a growl. Frank throws the bottle and Jack fires.
INT. DRAGON OF THE BLACK POOL RESTAURANT
In the corner of the room nearest the kitchen, we have a couple of old men and some teenagers. One is listening
intently.
JIE KE
"Horse shit, Uncle Jack."
JACK
"Watch your language, whatever
happened to respect your elders.
JIE KE
"Dad said yes 30 years ago you were
lucky not to be killed and that you
live your life by luck."
JACK
"Is that so. Well let me tell you,
that's horse shit. Hey, Wang stop
ruining my stories for your
boys..where was I.."
JIE KE
"You were staring into darkness
with a shotgun loaded."
JACK
"Well when you're facing the
darkness with huge growling monster
staring back at you, a pretty lady
by your side and a double barrelled
shotgun nestling in your hands like
it's a saviour baby waiting to kick
ass in the name of its owner. Just
remember what Jack Burton would
do."
JIE KE
"What?"
JACK
"Take your best shot."
Jack reaches inside his coat and removes something. He then throws it to the teenage boy. But the boy catches it, opens
the cloth to reveal a large tooth. He looks up at Jack in shock and disbelief. But then in return, Jack looks in horror
when he sees electricity jump between Jie Ke's hands.
THE END
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